As we all know relationships are not easy, they take consistent, effort and hard work. They take many long hard conversations, commitment and dedication to building something phenomenal. People that have beautiful relationships work at it every day. Here are a few ways you could grow in healthy ways with your partner or save your relationship if it’s struggling.
1. Enhance Love Maps With Your Partner
Get to know all the tiny small details of your partner’s dreams and hopes and fears. Get to know their favourite movies and music or flavour of ice-cream. Learn about their quirks and cute habits. That not only makes a relationship interesting it builds personal knowledge that maybe only we know about our partner.
2. Nurture Fondness and Admiration For Your Partner
Often times we keep our true feelings towards our partner inside ourselves. The result being that our partner’s don’t know how we feel about them. Nurturing your fondness for your partner means articulating these feelings so they form positive neurological pathways in your mind about your partner and in your partner’s mind about you. Looking at our partners positively increases the longevity of your relationship.
3. Turn Towards Your Partner
Turning towards your partner means being attentive and responding positively to their needs and requests for attention and affection. It includes positive body language that shows interest and desire in your partner, for example turn towards your partner and show interest while speaking to them as opposed to being preoccupied by your phone. In the case of the latter the message your partner receives is that you prioritise your phone over your partner and relationship.
4. Let Your Partner Influence You
As individuals and single people we often make decisions for ourselves and our lives without taking anyone else into consideration. This attitude doesn’t work in a relationship as it makes the other person feel like they are not a team, they are not in a partnership. The power balance in a relationship maybe skewed if partners are not able to influence each other’s decisions equally and in a healthy way. Include your partners in your decision making process, listen understand and make the ultimate decision together in agreement.
5. Solve The Solvable Problems With Your Partner
People in long term relationships know that there are some problems in a relationship that are never fully resolved. One just has to find a way to agree to disagree on certain points. Is this a deal breaker? No, it need not be. John Gottman explains that working on problems that can be solved bond a couple together, they feel, “Yes, we can do this!” So when the recurring issue pops up, couples are more likely to feel bonded and connected to their partners and there is wisdom in letting those disagreements rest.
6. Overcome Gridlock With Your Partner
A gridlock occurs when things get stuck at a certain point in a relationship – a stalemate of sorts. What causes this and how can we overcome and prevent these occurring in our relationship? Often there are underlying unfulfilled dreams that each partner possess that are ignore or trodden over knowingly or unknowingly. Talk about these, negotiate, and find a win-win solution to all dreams in a relationship.
7. Create Shared Meaning With Your Partner
Couples that work well together over the years have meaningful rituals that create shared meaning. They make an effort to engage in these rituals for many years. This creates a sense of bonding, togetherness and sense of being a team and sharing something important with your partner. The rituals could be little ones like kissing before you sleep every night, or saying what you are thankful for every day. It could be big things like throwing New Year’s parties or a meaningful Christmas lunch. Whatever the ritual big or small, it creates a sense of something shared.
Think about the messages you give out in your relationship. Are they building or breaking your relationship? Grow with your partner by building habits that cultivate a life steeped in a sense of togetherness and love.