“An unintentional life accepts everything and does nothing…”
To be someone that lives life with intention is a remarkable feat because there are a thousand screens that can inevitably eat up the hours in the day and prevent us from using our time to intentionally invest in the relationships that are important. Not being intentional as the quote says, is indicative of an acceptance of anything and everything. It is indicative of a complacency and lull that erodes and gently chips away at our quality of life and relationships.
One of the most significant relationships is a marriage. Marriages need to be tended to and maintained regularly, that’s what keeps them going, and that’s what keeps them alive. It is the sort of relationship that when invested in, can be deeply satisfying. In my experience as a counsellor, the research I have read and my own personal experience, people that enjoy marriage the most are the ones that work on it consistently and regularly. Here are some key things to invest into your relationship.
1. Invest Your Time In Your Relationships
Loved one’s need time. Time to:
- Talk with each other,
- Communicate and share things that are important,
- Build connection and intimacy,
- Ensure you see and notice your partner, appreciate who they are and all the things they do.
Invest time in your marriage – go to bed together, make and eat meals together, write small love notes to each other. Plan activities together. Give of your time and put it into your relationship.
2. Invest A Lot Of Respect In Your Relationships
A good relationship thrives when both parties respect each other and feel respected. This means using our words and actions to honor and respect our partner’s:
- Hopes, aspirations and
- The boundaries they set.
Not many relationships survive without respect. Respect is a key component to the sustainability of any relationship. Show respect to your partners. It is certainly a worthwhile investment.
3. Invest Intentional Behavior In Your Relationships
Relationships fall apart without intentional behavior. Be mindful of the kind of behavior that is encouraged and allowed in a relationship. Here are some behaviors you can be intentional about in your relationship:
- Make your partner a priority,
- Consistently work on the internal change you have committed to,
- Show intentional kindness and appreciation,
- Grow in awareness of your shortcomings and destructive patterns of behavior,
- Touch when you argue.
Small intentional actions go a long way. It’s the thousand small intentional actions that pave the way to a healthy marriage in the future. Be intentional today!
4. Invest Money In Your Relationships
The way you invest money to make more money, the same way you invest money into a marriage to build, nurture and strengthen it. Invest money towards:
- A get away where u can spend time talking and connecting,
- A relationship building course,
- In couples therapy.
If u spend money on your house and for your children, why not for your relationship?
5. Invest Your Vulnerability Into Your Relationships
Being vulnerable can be scary for many but it can also be a deeply liberating and validating experience. Invest vulnerability into your marriage. It nurtures:
- The right attitude,
- The ability to see each other in a deeper way,
- Gives your partner the opportunity to love you deeply and more completely
- Provides opportunities for growth and moving forwards as individuals and as partners.
“The strongest love is the love that can demonstrate its fragility.”– Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes
6. Invest Good Company In Your Relationships
They say the company you keep is highly indicative of who you are as a person – to know a man, meet his friends. There is value to this statement simply because as people our propensity to be influenced is quite high. We are influenced by things we barely even realize. There was a study conducted where it showed that if a relatively happy couple was surrounded by other couples that were in difficult relationships that were headed towards divorce or separation, eventually that couple was headed towards the same. However when a struggling couple was surrounded by couples that were healthy and worked on their marriages they were more likely to recover and invest in their marriages. So invest:
- Good people to model your relationship off,
- Friends that add positivity to your marriage and the way you think.
We are influenced by the company we keep. So choose the company wisely.
A marriage is like any investment, the more you invest in it – the more you get out of it. The more you put into a marriage, the more satisfying, fulfilling and heartwarming it will be. We are fortunate to have this lockdown time carved out of our lives to slow down and focus on the things that are important and so we can work on issues that have been piling up for a long time. So now that the time and space has been created for you to invest in your marriage/relationship…Are u doing so?
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