When you have been together for a significant amount of time it’s natural for the spark to go out of a relationship. We are human and we get bored or accustomed to people and things quite easily. We often suffer from short memories and don’t remember the fun times we have had with our partner. We start looking for something new, we start taking things for granted and fail to notice what is just in front of us. It’s no wonder the spark goes out! So the question that keeps coming up is, how does one keep that spark alive in a long term relationship?
1. Reignite Your Relationship Tip 1 – Spend Quality Time
When you like someone’s company it’s easy to spend time with that person. Spending time comes naturally. When you have spent many years with a person it may be significantly harder to find time to spend together as lives do get pretty busy with work and children. The truth is some of us may not even like our partners much anymore because we don’t know them anymore, or we feel ignored and not a priority. However, still try and find 15 minutes a day where you can just be with your partner and chat or do an activity. No phones, no screens, just a little walk or snuggle on the couch. If you are truly interested in each other, these times will become quite precious and valuable to you.
2. Reignite Your Relationship Tip 2 – An Attitude of Understanding
There’s nothing like a selfish attitude or an attitude of pride and-I-know-it-all to put someone off. No matter how long you have been together or how well you know your partner, there’s always something you don’t know because we evolve and change, we are dynamic. So don’t make assumptions and come from a place of humility and wanting to understand your partner, because the simple truth is everyone wants to be understood. You want to be understood and so does your partner. Treat your partner the way you would like to be treated. Offer understanding and the likelihood to receive the same in return is greater.
3. Reignite Your Relationship Tip 3 – Ask Questions
More often than not, partners become familiar. And sometimes when we are very comfortable in a relationship we stop putting in effort and this is the beginning of the death of a relationship. I encourage you, be interested in your partner, ask questions, be curious. Get to know one another again. It’s refreshing to find out things you may have never known. If you believe you already know everything, make it a game to find out things you don’t know about your partner.
Try questions like:
1. What is your favourite childhood memory?
2. What makes you feel the most loved?
3. What are some of your visions for us as a team?
4. What are some of the best times you have had with me and why are these your favourite?
Give these a go!
If these don’t get the juices flowing and you are still at a loss for questions, do a quick google search as one can find many questions to ask their partner online.
4. Reignite Your Relationship Tip 4 – Adventure Together
Find new interests and activities to do together. This often reveals a new side of a person or maybe qualities, talents and skills that were hidden or unrealized. These new activites have the potential to make you work as a team and maybe that’s an important feeling you feel you lack in your relationship. Take a dance class, explore new places on the weekend, go out for hikes, travel and see the world together, eat different cuisines. Have an adventure!
There are many ways a flame goes out of a relationship and just like that there are many ways to ignite that flame again. Given that both parties are willing to try and make their love and passion burn again, it is not impossible to put the spark back into a relationship. These simple behaviours foster love, affection, fondness, teamwork and respect. It’s these qualities that keep a spark ablaze. Sometimes you just have to go back to the beginning and remember the interesting things about your partner!